=:=My Sister Nicole =:=
in loving memory
May 24,1975 – February 9, 1976
Today is my Spirit sister’s 39th birthday. I say spirit sister because i never did meet here on this side of the Veil. My parents were young when they had her. My mother just 18. It was a short stay in a broken body. Nicole was born with Down Syndrome and various other complications that would make her stay be a short one.
We really never know how much time we have here, nor how our stay will impact those when we leave. As a mother myself now, i can really feel how painful it would have been to walk in the shoes my mother & father walked in. Yet with all things in life, i always come back to the trust in knowing that ALL things happen for a reason. The teachings that come through life’s trials are powerful and have deep meaning.
My family was not a religious family and i think for my father particularly, he lost all respect for religion when the priest at the service told him that ‘god gives and god takes’. I see the deeper truth behind this…now. But for him, it wasn’t something he could understand nor fathom to feel. It didn’t make the pain go away. The extra burden he carried is also coming from so many generations of men who were (and still are) raised to be ‘strong’ and not feel. Feeling being a weakness. That is difficult to process. How can we grieve if we aren’t meant to ‘feel’? We have to feel. To not feel blocks the rivers. To block the river’s stagnates life.
No matter whether you feel everything has its reason and purpose, letting go of someone or something you love hurts. No doubt about it. A heart broken by loss can carry anger, sadness, or guilt. The heart needs to grieve to let go, and letting go is never easy. Grief and loss can carry with them the gifts of gratitude for what IS. The realization of the gift that being was in your life!
Unfortunately, it is not so for all. If grief stays repressed or finds no way to express itself it can bring us much pain, even dis-ease. Sorrow eats at the heart and cripples the spirit.
We are strands in the web of life, all created from the same Source. Whether you call that Creator, God, or Goddess, or give it any variety of names, it’s all the same. We all dwell within this Mysterious cohesive force beyond our mental understanding. Every one of us is a gift in this World, each one carrying a purpose. It is up to us to allow our purpose to unfold, because essentially, we don’t need to find it, it’s already there, WITHIN.
Really, if anything, we only ever get in its way, when we are afraid or trying to be in control of something that is not meant for us. Our purpose, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem is why we are here. Like a flower’s destiny is to bloom, we too, come here to bloom. After that we all die, eventually, the petals fall. We are not being punished if someone we love dies. Death comes at varying ages. We all return to this Source.
What is the meaning of it all? To do what makes us happy! In a good way without comprising the well-being of anyone or anything. That our own life may become a living teaching for those that follow behind us. Remember, we don’t know how long we have here. Time is precious.
The things that make your heart sing, that make you feel ALIVE are whisperings from your Spirit. Your heart knows!
Now that is easier said than done, because we get lost in the crazy human rat race of striving for false idols of success. I don’t really believe that money or how much you wished you could have worked MORE is on anyone’s mind as they are close to leaving this world. You think? Everything is left behind when we leave. The bank account, the treasures and toys. The only thing you can carry with you is your Heart and Spirit.
How well you lived, how much you loved and how much you allowed yourself to grow and blossom, now that’s what its all about! no? This is what you want to take with you! How you persevered through hardships and rose above the storms of life. The wisdom you acquired through your mistakes. The times you stumbled and have fallen and the times you have picked yourself back up, climbing out of that cave of darkness. We grow both from the struggles of life and the joys. We have to learn to embrace both to really taste the bliss of it.
Many people may not believe in an ‘after life’. That we carry on in the great beyond. Returning our bodies, like costumes, when the show is over. But for me, ever since i can remember, i felt there for something more. Something i couldn’t quite grasp, nor touch. I even dreamt of life times lived or inner stirrings of familiarity i have felt to date. I have no proof, but nothing to prove. It is only my inner guidance i can follow and in the end it doesn’t really matter. What matter’s is now. THIS moment. All times, are wrapped and woven into this NOW.
SO….today i sit and reflect. About a Spirit i have felt but never met.
I remember when i was little, i always felt this void in my life. It took me many years to understand what this void was. I was missing and longing for a sister i didn’t even know.
I had dreams and visions i didn’t understand. It wasn’t until i was older i would understand this feeling, and not until i was much much older i would understand even more. I even experimented a few times calling on her, through a mirror and scared myself. ha ha. A good friend and trusted intuitive medium would reveal to me, this sacred bond that bound us.
My sister is a Spirit helper. She speaks through the wind, singing through chimes wherever they hang. I love to listen to the wind blow and the chimes speak. It has always soothed my spirit. Spirit whisperer.
She is my guide, although invisible to this world where i dwell, she guides me through my dreams, daydreams, thoughts & flashes of insight. It is a feeling difficult to describe, but i have always longed for sisterhood. I know now that can be found whether you are blood or not. It is the Spirit that connects. It is what “Kindred” is really all about, within and without.
My sister came into body for only a short while, but she made a deep connection to me, through that.
The Mystery is alive in all of us, but we have to slow our Minds, to really SEE and to really LISTEN. This guidance speaks in whispers drowned by the chaotic noise that exists as chatter, thoughts, and mental turbulence. The heart is a gentle warrior, it won’t get pushy. The mind on the other hand is always shouting! SHOUT SHOUT! If you get these two together, however, you are unstoppable. WHOLE.
There has been much much intervention done, to create a divide between these two very powerful forces. It is up to us now, to bring the two into resonance, to work as one. When we achieve this, the extraordinary will become ordinary. The paranormal, normal. The gift of balance can be ours. Begin with holding gratitude for what YOU have. Slow the mind down….
So you can hear the truth of your own being! Let trivial stress and tension go. What good is it? it only blocks our harmony and flow. We need to Flow
So you can touch the part of your being wanting to come alive through the things you Love. Do something you love today. I know it’s tough. Life gets busy. Tell me about it. I have to remind myself, constantly. Remember that time is short, every moment counts. Hug yourself, hug someone near. Take in a sunset. Watch the clouds. Remember, it is NEVER to late to change, it is just one thought away. It all begins in and ends with the Mind. Find solace in knowing, you belong.
So to YOU my precious sister =:= I love you & may you always guide me to walk in balance and beauty. To take life as it comes & to embrace it all. To our Mama & Papa. In this walk. To all my relations. _/\_